Ok, I Said it, "I Want to Be Important!"

Oh God, still my covetous heart!  My head is filled with ideas of grandeur, of wanting to be important, & my reach my vast.  I want to do more, be more, have more... In life in general and in each day.

I look at my life right now transitioning to my empty nest season considering what my time should be full of...  Should I charge forward in a new career?  Go back to school?  Dive into hobbies that I have been longing for?  Work towards doing something "big"?  My heart leaps for a moment thinking of all the possibilities & the wonder of all those amazing ideas!... and then.. I come back to myself & ask not, "What might be exciting?", but instead, "What would your will look like?"  "What do I already see you calling me to?"  "What does scripture say?"

"Whoever seeks to save his own life will lose it, but those who lose themselves for my sake and the gospel's will surely save it."  And recently, Titus 2:3-5, "3 Older women similarly are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine, teaching what is right and good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children,5 to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."

That's it?!  Oops.. did I say that out loud?!  is my life ever going to be anything but behind the scenes in the supporting role .. quieter than many.. less famous than most.. known to just a few.. am i ever going to be published or a speaker or a powerful leader in the community or business?   Maybe not.. and that's ok.

Life isn't about reaching for all of the exciting opportunities.  It is about whispering to the Lord, "I am my Beloved's and He is mine.  You have a plan, God, my Father, already in motion.  I will look for that plan & join you. With your help, I will let go of all my longings for excitement & importance & let you create my life the way you would have it."  Many times that may not lead us to the "grand", or the exciting from outside appearances but in reality it is the richest life of all!

I let go of all my ambition.  I let my life be what Your will, will shape it into.. grand or small.. seen or unseen.. important or seemingly insignificant.  Only You really know what these concepts means anyway.