Degree.. Fear Driven or Faith Driven?
Why do we, Americans, of this 21st pressure our daughters (and our sons) to get degrees? We have to ask ourselves are we pushing them out of faith or fear?
I grew up in a family who strongly valued education. My father had a college degree and was a highly intelligent retired military officer. My mother had worked in the secretarial field and went back to college when I was 8 years old to get her degree. My 2 sisters and I started our schooling in a high quality Montesorri school at 2 years old and then continued through private schooling, always on the honor roll and college bound. When we talked about our life after high school, there was never any question but that we would all go to college. When I graduated from high school I did go to college for 1 year. Early in that year I met my husband Bryan and went through the accelerated "MRS" degree program. We were married the following fall and I went to work full time and then we started our family.
15 - 20 years ago, I was a wife and mother of 3 children under 5. My husband was working full-time to support our family and I was a full-time homemaker. All of a sudden, I had this compulsion come on me that I need to go back to school and get my nursing degree. My father had died when I was only 13. All of a sudden I got thinking about that and thinking that I needed to go back to school just in case I was ever put in a situation where I needed to provide for myself and my children.
During the time period where I was doing the research and getting enrolled, all of sudden the realization took hold of me that I was seeking this degree out of FEAR. Fear of something terrible happening to my husband or him having a moral collapse (none of us can control another person's choices)… FEAR of one day being alone; not of my own choosing. And the Lord, spoke to my heart, to let this idea go and to not to worry (take no thought for what you will eat, or drink or wear, if I take care of the sparrow, will I not take care of you?) about what might happen. I didn't realize it, but I was projecting FEAR and some MISTRUST on my husband. Really, if I was honest, it was on men, in general. I did not fully trust them or any human being to be faithful, good & trustworthy for a lifetime. The Lord assured my heart that if something like this ever happened that he would take care of me and show me what to do at that point and I could rest in that instead of putting myself and my family through a knothole as I did what would have had to be done to earn a degree while at the same time raising a family.
So my question to you is, do you see this same truth in your own motivation for compelling your daughters to get a degree or major career? Do we encourage them to pursue it because they need if for the call of God on their lives or because we are afraid that they will be left destitute? Shouldn't we live in a stature of Faith and Trust in our God and in our Husbands instead?
What does it convey to our husbands when we feel a need to shore ourselves up with this type of wall of protection (against the wrong they might do to us)? I'm not even saying we do it consciously… and I'm not even sure they could put into words that they might feel insulted by it.. but could that be what we are implying? Do we want to sow those seeds or instead seeds of utter and complete respect and trust that men are good… and that even if that is not always true.. that THEY are GOOD and we UTTERLY TRUST them.